I am a long-time reader of the New York Times, and of its Opinion Pages, and lately I’ve been noticing that I know pretty much what each of the contributors is going to say about any particular subject even before I read their pieces.
To get to this point I have had to spend thousands of hours of my time and untold amounts of my money. So as a public service to the rest of you I offer this template that you can use to know what each one will say before they say it:
David Brooks: We rely too much on government and not enough on ourselves because our values stink.
Paul Krugman: If you would listen to me the economy wouldn’t stink.
Tom Friedman: The rest of the world is increasingly beating us at our own game because, although we didn’t used to stink, now we do.
Nicholas Kristof: There are a lot of stinking things going on in the world, and we stink for not doing enough to stop them.
Frank Rich: Republicans are evil, and those who don’t oppose them vigorously enough stink.
Maureen Dowd: Everybody stinks, and I get paid to judge them for it! Cool!