The United Church of Christ’s “Let’s Get a Celebrity” Sub-Committee” in Cleveland has recently been promoting getting Ellen De Generes to come to our next General Synod, but I think Keith Richards would be a better idea, and here’s why:
I know Ellen is a big gay icon and all, and I like her as much as the next person, but Keith is a way bigger celebrity, and let’s face it, he’s hipper, too.
Sure, there are other hot celebrities right now, but their minuses outweigh their pluses. For example, take Lil Wayne. He’s a person of color, which is a plus. He wears a cross around his neck, and has a couple cross prison tats, which are pluses. But he is in jail on weapons charges and might be too dangerous even for Synod. See what I mean.
Or take Bristol Palin. She’s young and she’s a Christian, and she been on Dancing with the Stars, which are all pluses. But she’s not our kind of Christian and she’s too Republican, which are deal breakers.
I could go on and on, but I think it has got to be Keith. He has a new autobiography out, and he is on the cover of the current Rolling Stone, so this is definitely a Keith Richards moment.
He has some minuses it’s true. First of all, there has been some unsavory behavior in the past, but who are we to judge, especially a big celebrity like Keith. Secondly, there is no evidence he is a Christian. But, hey, I haven’t heard anything about Ellen being a Christian either. And years ago we had Carl Sagan as the keynoter for the big-church Orlando Conference. When someone asked him if he believed in God, he said, “No.” That wasn’t a deal breaker then, why now? And Keith once sang in an Anglican junior choir. That’s good enough for me.
So I say. Let’s get Keith Richards to Synod!